Christmas Time

The fact that it's 4:45 a.m. and I've been up for over an hour is probably not a good sign for the day. I find that oftentimes when I'm awake this early, it is because God has brought something or someone to mind. Today, however, there is nothing specific that has come to me. I've had a lot of thoughts just running through my head.

This time of the year is exciting. There is so much hustle and bustle all around that it is hard to not be in the Christmas spirit or mood. I like this time of year although I'm not always fond of the busy schedule that it brings.

As a child I did not like Christmas. I know, that sounds weird. Don't all kids like Christmas? Hello? Presents. More presents than I could possibly imagine. Presents are given just because it's Christmas. Definitely a kid's holiday, right? For me, though, Christmas was always about making difficult choices. Up until I was in my mid teens, my Christmases were always split between the people I was biologically related to and the people who truly were my family - and this, of course, was court ordered (oh happy day). I wanted to spend time with my family but I felt guilty about not wanting to spend time with the biologicals - after all, they were the people I was born to. After a while, though, I knew they weren't my family. Christmas is about family, and as I grew up, I knew they weren't really my family. I had to make choices at Christmas - and they were never easy to me. For me, this is what Christmas was about - getting shuffled between places, turmoil in my heart and mind, and the uneasiness that came with all of that. I didn't like Christmas. Couldn't wait until the New Year was here. All of the pressure to make a choice would be gone by then (in my mind, anyway).

I hated having to feel like I had to make choices at Christmastime while growing up. Funny thing is, though, now that I'm older, I realize that Christmas is about making choices. It is about choosing to believe that the baby born in the manger really was and is the Son of God. Believing that Jesus came into this world, born of a virgin, to become a man, to die for me. Christmas is about choosing to believe that the God who was born in such a humble place is the same God that has prepared an exalted place for me in heaven. Christmas is about making the choice to follow Him....even when I don't feel like it because I'm worn out by the weight of the world. Christmas is about believing that He whose birth is celebrated is the same one who has chosen me to be His child. His choice. Christmas is about choices.

I enjoy this time of year now. I love spending time with my Mom shopping - even though we have purchased all of our gifts. I love going places and seeing all of the decorations and lights. I love watching A Christmas Story marathon on TBS (ok that one is a little less spiritual, but funny albeit). It's exciting for me to spend time with my family at this time of year. The memories of past Christmases come to mind from time to time, but they are distant. For me, Christmas is about making choices - choices that revolve around what I believe about the God who came to me through the miracle of the nativity.