Discussion of Obedience to God

I can't believe how fast my week of vacation went by. It seems like I was just talking about taking the week off and the plans I had, and now, it's back to work today. The week didn't go as I had originally planned. I don't think that I truly planned to take the entire week to build a shed, but the shed is built (after much frustration and hard work), and it is beautiful. It was a complete lesson in frustration and patience. News flash to myself (and sadly others that helped) - I'm not exactly a patient person. In fact, I think that I learned how impatient I actually am this week. It was a little shocking to me. It probably wasn't all that shocking to others, but self awareness sometimes comes a little lagging behind. It was a good week, but tiring work. I had time to think while I was building and hauling, and that sometimes is a good thing.

One of the things that I have been pondering all week is my on-going struggle of trust and obedience in my daily walk with Christ. In church yesterday, a Pastor spoke about obedience to God. I love this particular Pastor. He is somebody that I've grown up with, has been there during tough times of my life, and I believe that he has truly loved me and watched me grow up. Having said that, I had a hard time with something he said yesterday. He made the comment that God's love hinges on our obedience to Him. His supporting passages were the scriptures in the gospels in which Jesus tells His disciples, "If you love me, keep my commandments". It wasn't hard to hear it in terms of conviction. It was hard for me to hear it because I can't reconcile that statement with the God that I've been learning about and studying. While I completely understand and believe that I am supposed to be obedient to God, and I am supposed to keep His commandments, I cannot believe that His love towards me hinges on my obedience. To me, that makes God's love conditional. That makes God's love an "if-then" statement. It puts limitations on His love. Is that the God of the Bible? In my mind, it is not.

I believe that obedience to God is critical in my walk with Him. It is important that I follow His commandments - utmost important. I am to love my neighbor as myself, be sanctified, be holy, walk uprightly, do justice, flee evil...Those commandments are to be obeyed. I believe that there are definite consequences when not obeyed. What I can't reconcile is that God's love would hinge on whether I not I would be completely obedient in all of these things. For me, in my mind, it would be humanly impossible to continually have the love of God, then. I fail at being obedient. I am rebellious - always have been. I fail miserably at being obedient to God all the time. It is a scary thought for me, then, to believe that God's love would hinge on this. Doesn't that make it impossible for God's love to be constant if it hinges on my behavior? It is also hard for me to reconcile that a God who has foreknowledge, and knows that I will be disobedient and rebellious at times, would want a relationship with me that would hinge on my behavior. He knows I will fail miserably, and yet He seeks to have a relationship with me.

I know what people would think of these statements. I thought those same things. Things like, "we can't just live however we want just because we know that God loves us and will never stop". Absolutely true. It's not that I believe I can do whatever I want because He will never stop loving me - it's that I believe He loves me in spite of my behavior. He knows the ending - He knows I will mess up - He can't be disappointed. I think that when I mess up, He says, "ok, 1,000 times down, 10,000 times to go to get this lesson". Maybe it's too early in the morning to think this deeply but it was something that was weighing on my mind, and I had to write about it. Yes God is a jealous God and there are consequences for disobedience. I don't believe for one minute that one of those consequences is the loss of His love. That does not compute with the never changing God with whom I have come to be in relationship. Maybe you think that makes my God wimpy or weak. I believe it makes God a God of constant relationship and not limited by my humanity.

One of the interesting things that I have learned as I develop my own relationship with God is that it is important for me to listen to what I hear preached, but then to sift it through my own faith precepts. Did that make sense? I guess what I'm trying to say is that I've learned that I can't take every word that is preached as gospel. I believe that I used to do that. If it was preached from the pulpit, it must be true. I don't necessarily believe that anymore. I am not suggesting that what the Pastor said yesterday was that God's love wasn't constant, but I have to take the statement "God's love hinges on our obedience" and sift it through my own precepts and faith walk with God. Does it agree or can I break it down so that I can apply that to my life? I know, it was one comment out of an entire sermon. I hear that. It is a comment that made me think and ponder my faith in God. I believe that's what sermons are for - teaching and pondering our faith walk with God. So that is how I will take this comment - as a pondering thought about my own personal relationship with God, and what I believe about Him.