Gluten Free

It's a little weird for me to post two things in one day. However, by the time I'm done, it will be tomorrow. It's already 11:30 pm. My sleeping habits these days are quite poor. I basically go to bed late and get up really early. I'm not sure if it is the change in the sunrise hours or what, but my sleeping habits have fallen by the wayside.

Tonight we celebrated Father's Day because my sister is going to be out of town on Father's Day. As I've already shared, my Dad is basically my hero. Tonight we celebrated with steaks on the grill, corn on the cob, whipped cream on the ice cream....and a lifetime on the hips (ha ha). Okay, maybe not. Food is such an interesting thing for me. I am such an emotional eater, and I really do enjoy food - food of all kinds. I like the comfort that food can bring and have for a long time. I think this is why I have struggled so badly with my own war with Celiac's Disease. Back in October, I was diagnosed with Celiac's disease. It's basically an autoimmune disorder in which my body attacks itself whenever I have anything with gluten in it. For the inquiring minds, gluten is found in just about everything. I basically have to avoid anything made with wheat, rye, barley and oat products. Ummm...that's just about anything that would be labeled in that "comfort food" category - breads, pastas, pastries...all bad, all the time. Whenever I accidentally eat something with gluten in it, my body basically rejects it in the form of a very nasty food poisoning. Okay, probably more than anyone needs to know.

It was interesting how my family reacted when I was first diagnosed. My Mom, who tries very hard not to poison me with gluten products, asked me one time if she baked something in flour and then rinsed mine off would it be okay for me to eat. Sounds logical - if I were living at the homeless shelter and wiping food off from a dumpster. The first couple of times people tried to cook for me after my diagnosis, they pretty much poisoned me accidentally. It's hard for other people to understand the magnitude of the illness, I suppose. Any little bit of gluten in food can send me on a 2 day food poison spree. Yippee for me and those all around me.

Right after I was diagnosed, being the analyst that I am, I took out every single book from the library that I could find on Celiac's disease. One book was particularly helpful to me. It gave me the entire list of 150 types of candy that I can have with Celiac's disease. Woo hoo. I can't eat bread or pasta, but I sure can eat candy of almost every kind. It's interesting, too, where you find gluten. It's in the strangest things - like salad dressings, ice creams, BBQ sauce . . . nondairy whipped cream....and my personal favorite....potatoes from a box. After being diagnosed, I went on a crazy eating diet. I felt like my life had been turned upside down. I turned to some of my own gluten free comfort food - corn chips and Dots candy. For the first several months, I'm pretty sure that I lived on those two products.

Back to Father's day...Tonight was about my Dad. It was our celebration of him as our father. Yet, my sister had to worry about whether or not any of the food she had prepared touched the bread or anything else that had gluten in it. It's about my Dad...not about me. Sometimes I feel like this disease is intrusive, and my feeling should be validated. It is intrusive on my life. It changed my life pretty drastically. I guess I have known that for the last several months, but it hits me every now and again like a ton of bricks. This disease has disrupted my life. I'm not saying that for the "poor me" from anyone - just simply stating the facts.

So, no real comfort food for me. I have to find the gluten free alternative (and frankly, if you've ever been brave enough to try something gluten free, you would know that there is no real gluten free, tasty alternative). For now, I guess I have to face the reality that this disease is disruptive....to me and sometimes to those around me. Ugh. I guess I'm happy that it's been diagnosed (I do feel a lot better), but sometimes I just want to go back to the days of gluten filled life....less disruptive (except for an occasional week long food poisoning.....)

All in all, good night. Happy Father's Day to my hero. You have been an amazing example to me. You've given me a tremendous edge in life, and I'm proud to be called yours. Love you, Dad.