My Answer

It is so interesting to me how God works in my life. This morning, I am sitting on my patio listening to the birds sing, feeling a cool breeze and the sun has beautifully risen. I am sitting here thinking about how God works and I am amazed.

Last night I had coffee with a dear friend. Ok, so we actually had gelato and chai, but the conversation was great. We have not gotten together in a while, and it was so good to catch up. Here's the amazing part - she was sent to me by God to encourage and sharpen me in the struggle I am having with letting go and trusting God fully. I have no doubt that the timing was perfect (of course it was - it was God's timing), and it was like a messenger handing me the letter from God written to me with the answer I needed - or at least the direction I needed to go. It's so funny because I believe that I am the type of person who actually believes someday God is going to write me a letter. Ok. I know, the Bible is the letter. I hear you. I'm talking about a "dear brie" letter. I was uplifted by our conversation.

Here's the exciting part (the last part was exciting, but this is exciting. This morning, I am reading in the book of Ephesians. I've been skipping all over. Now, Ephesians. A little background of the excitement. I believe that sometimes my issue with letting go and fully relying on God is that deep down I believe that God has let me down in my life. I think that if I truly put it down honestly, that's what the main issue. I don't trust Him because I feel like He's let me down. I feel like He has let things happen to me that He could have prevented and just didn't. It's not bitterness. I truly believe that I'm not bitter about the circumstances. I do feel let down by Him, though. He is God almighty; omnipotent; omnipresent . . . all powerful. For me, it's the reconciliation of who God is (in my mind) and what has happened. Just truth and honesty here. I feel let down. After my conversation with my dear friend last night, I know that this has a name - unbelief. Because of circumstances in my life, I have left the belief of who God is.

Ready for the exciting answer that I received today? Ephesians 1:11 & 12 - In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, In order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory. My answer is this - I was chosen by God who has worked out everything according to the purpose of His will so that I could show hope to others and use the circumstances for praise and glory. I have to believe that God is all those things that I know He is . . . and believe that, because I was chosen, He planned my life long ago and will use everything that has happened for hope for others and for His glory. The truth of the matter is that I don't have to understand why things happened (although I am an overanalyzer and want to know why). I only have to know that these things have happened in the order He ordained, in the timing He ordained, and, if I allow Him, He will use them for His glory. Praise. Hope.

So, God did write me a personal response, I believe. I heard His voice loud and clear. What He has said to me in the last two days is this - "My dear child, I have chosen you because I love you. You are precious to me. The things that have happened were not good, but they were ordained so that you might use them to show others hope. Use them for my glory". Loud; clear; audible. Our God is a big God. I feel that the events of the last two days combined with where I am in scripture are confirmation of the answer to me. Talk about being on the mountain. I'm not crazy, though. I know who I am deep down. This will not be the last time I struggle with this, but it is the answer I believe I've been looking for.

Hope. These things happened so that I could bring hope to others and glorify God. Believe who is He and believe that He brings all things into the conformity of His will. Awesome.