Single Mindedness

I feel the need to post something about not having a husband. I will warn you in advance that much of this post may sound sarcastic. It's meant to be - my apologies.

I am a 37 year old unmarried, Baptist church attending woman. In some circles that is almost a sin - likened probably to adultery, murder and gossip. I am this way by choice. I know - gasps from all around. I believe that I am without a husband because I choose to be, and I believe that I make this choice consciously, and that I am and still can be in the perfect will of God.

Now, for those of you who want to know the answer to ever burning question of when will I settle down (the same question that I received from a dear concerned Christian sister this morning), I have one response to that. I am as settled down as I possibly can get. Now I know what you are asking in a not so politically correct way. You are asking when it is that I will feel that I am ready to ride into the sunset of married life. The question, however, isn't "When are you going to get married?". The question asked is "when are you going to settle down?". So, to that end, I give you the response that I'm 37 years old, very set in my ways. If I "settle down" anymore, I will be encased in stone as a statue.

Now, to the dear concerned Christian sister who asked this question of me - the second question begs an even more sarcastic answer. The question was, "Is there anybody special in your life?". Ok. Those of you who read my blog probably know that my response will be sarcastic. Of course there are special people in my life - they are called family and friends. As far as I am concerned, they are very special people. I know that's not the answer you wanted to hear. You want to hear if I am out on the prowl looking for that one special man to "settle down" with. Well, frankly, I'm not. Again, I'm quite content with where I am at on this journey. It seems that I'm the only one who is content with my singleness. Those around me are inclined to show me in many special ways that they are not content with my singleness. I am not interested in being fixed up with your best friend's husbands equally single brother who you think is just perfect. I'm sure he's not. Nobody is. Thank you for trying to fix me up with a "very gifted musician" who also might have a slight issue with body odor and excessive sweating. Not sure when excessive sweating became one of the qualities that I look for in a mate, but thank you for your gallant efforts.

I also want to thank you for your concerns about whether or not I'm normal because I have not "settled down" with a husband. Thank you for your prayers that I "find myself" and learn to share my life with a man. Thank for your concerned looks when I say that I'm not dating anyone. I say "concerned" but I really mean your looks of pity and sympathy because you can't understand how I can withstand all my loneliness that I must be feeling. Thank you for especially precious question of "Don't you want a husband?" followed by "The Lord will bring that special person along when the timing is right". Deep down, I know that this translates like this - "Poor soul. So lonely. So burning with desire. God please send someone, anyone to rescue the poor dear from her tragic life of singleness".

My favorite part of all of this concern regarding my singleness is that most of the time these questions do not come from my close friends, or even my family. They come from people like the woman who listened to my AWANA verses when I was in the 5th grade; or the man who was in charge of the AWANA Olympics and watched me run around a circle velcroed to another person in the three legged race to dive into the center to grab the 1st place pin; or the person who taught me English in the 7th grade while I attended my Christian school. All of these people have good intentions - yet haven't spoken to me much over the course of the last 20 years. When they do, these are the inquiries that they make all in the name of "catching up". That's all good and well, but, my dear concerned brother/sister in Christ, these are frankly quite personal questions to ask someone you haven't spoken to in 20 years. A brief, "how are you doing?" and "tell me what you are doing" are two examples of very nice, very polite questions and inquiries.

I do apologize for the sarcasm that I have strung throughout this post. Sarcasm aside, I do feel that I am single with a purpose. I'm not discontent; I'm not burning with desire to have a husband; I am concerned about walking closely with my God through my journey. Nothing more. Nothing less. Single with a purpose. Contented and happy. Thank you for bearing with me during the sarcasm but I think I've made my point quite well. Don't you?