The Banter Has to Stop

I violated one of my own rules yesterday. I don't know about you, but I have some general rules that I like to apply to my life every day. One of those rules is that if I say something about someone, I want to always think about how the same comment would feel to me if it were said or discussed about me. I violated that rule big time yesterday.

Sometimes in government, where I work, things happen that are rather political in nature. Duh. I work for an elected official....what do I expect, right? Yesterday, I heard some news about some changes that were going to be made. I'm happy about the changes, but when I expressed my joy, I also shared something about that person and who they were dating. None of my business; none of my business to share; none of my business to spread. After the words came out, I thought, "why did you even say that?". I felt horrible. I know why I said it. Deep down I wanted to look like I was in the "know". It was all about my pride. Ugh. Normally I don't care about being in the "know". I like to stay, as I say, "under the radar". I don't ever want to be that head that sticks up like a whack-a-mole game.

Sometimes things just come out of my mouth and I'm often shocked that they have. It might even be a swear word. I know, be shocked, sometimes foul things accidentally come out of my mouth. I usually say it when I am frustrated beyond all belief, and then, yuck comes out of my mouth. God's been working on this with me because I feel that when those things come out of my mouth, they come from my heart. That tells me that my heart is not the rosy-pink color that I think it is. It tells me that there is still a bit of darkness in it, and I need to work on that to have a pure heart before God.

I think Peter must have struggled with this when he was denying Christ. That's a sobering thought to me. At the end of his third denial, he used his "communication" and words to "prove" that he wasn't a follower of Christ. This is striking to me and very convicting. It's definitely my pride that tells me that I'm above this sort of thing. I'm not above it. Only through Christ do I rise above this. Only through His power. I know it may seem like a small thing - talking about someone and their dating life, but deep down, I'm a private person and don't want anyone to discuss who I am dating unless I've shared that information with them. (and there is nothing to share right now.....) So, lesson learned. Don't talk about people behind their backs. I know it sounds simple, but how hard is it not to get caught up in this type of banter?