Church

I think that I need to confess my heathenism. Not that I feel that I need to confess my sins out loud on a blog, but here goes. Yesterday was Sunday. I've grown up to believe that Sundays are the Lord's day - you go to church. It's what is expected. Yesterday was beautiful. I did not go to church. I woke up and made the conscious decision to stay home, sit on my back patio admiring my pink, purple and white gardens and just sip coffee and enjoy the day. And, that I did. I sipped coffee, worked on my gardens, enjoyed the day. I also spent some time in worship. I know, heathenism. I was raised to believe that worship of God, on Sundays, happens in church. I was also raised to believe that you should go to church on Sundays because you can't "forsake the assembling". But, in the end, did I really forsake the assembling?

Throughout my life, growing up, we were at church every chance we had. That included Sunday mornings, Sunday evenings, Wednesday nights...and sometimes if there was a special week, we were in church every night for an entire week. As I was growing up, I felt burned out by that. I felt like going to church became a tremendous chore. I hated it. I hated being the kid who went to church on a Thursday night instead of playing softball with my friends at a local park. I hated sitting through preachers who could only scream their sermons - because apparently that made their point better. As I grew up, developed a different relationship with God, I began to look at going to church differently. It has become for me an enhancement to my spiritual life - not my spiritual life. I think that it is so easy for church to become people's spiritual life that they forget what it's like to have a relationship with God outside the four walls of the church building.

So, yesterday, I stayed home from church. Listened to my worship music. Spent time, precious time, with God. My life has been so hectic lately that I felt like I needed a break. I needed a break from the running and from the crowds and just needed to pull away and spend quiet time with God...alone...on my patio...listening to the birds, listening to the sounds of nature...sipping coffee and taking a breath. Does that make me a heathen? Maybe. I guess that's a judgment that I will leave to God because I felt, at the end of the day, that I grew closer to God even though it was outside the 4 walls of a church.